I have made up my mind what kind of information a single person is able to give refering to such an issue. The world of thoughts is complex and individual, so every slave will have his own individual thoughts and it can never be the goal to make general conclusions which fit to different people.
But perhaps the one or other person finds himself a bit in one or some more certain parts of this text.
Devoted is often seen as 'dumb', especially when money takes part of it. I've been thinking about it for a long time... can it make sense in some way to submit to a woman, because of her charming aura and to serve her.
Meanwhile I consider my devotion as a gift, the greatest gift that I am able to donate to somebody. There will be no way back, one is defenceless against his world of thoughts and feelings, but my personal conclusion is that this is nevertheless not bad or terrible. This is no reason to call this world reasonable – but aren't out there so many things which make people happy, which cause fun and are in no way related to rationality? So, why not also let the rationality back here too and go after someone's feelings?
I have learned to let go of those purely rational world and then there has been only a small step – though a step hard to go across a narrow, but deep abyss. You have to throw all doubt down into the deep, in order to enjoy all those huge and never ever expected feelings of happiness which can be enjoyed because of living your wishes and cravings.
It may be asked what this happiness is made of. As a submissive man my greatest pleasure is to see a woman, who I adore completely, happy, to be allowed to make her smile ever and ever again. These feelings do immediatly pass over to me – I borrow some words which describe it quite well:
Your good is my good
Your nice is my nice
Your true is my true
Your bad is my bad
Your sad is my sad
Your sad is my
VERY SAD
(cited and translated from a German song)
Yes, it is even increasing, I'm feeing very sad as long as she is sad, I'm unbelievably happy when she is well. One consequence of this is that the kind of my services is almost unimportant. In my thoughts it is not important that my personal desires have to be satisfied, no, it is all about her wishes and desires, and I do feel so very happy as long as I see a possibility to fulfil her wishes. If this means to suffer – financially or physically – it is very seldom that it is feeling like real suffering. Anyway fun makes its way inside of me, perhaps a bit of pride too, simply the fact to do it for her, no: to be allowed to do it for her. I have always considered it as a huge honour to be allowed to do things for her and do never consider this as self-evident. To receive attention of her, to gain her respect and to have the chance to take a little place in her life means pure happiness, a never known inner satisfaction which I can't compare with anything else I have had before.
It is outlasting, nothing ever to question. It is not only connected to a sexual arousing, it is inside of me simply all the time and it just won't go away. Perhaps exactly this is my biggest motivation, to remain this condition again and again, no matter what it takes to do this. My mind is telling me that there won't be any escape out of this world – but even when I think about it rationally, it is absolutely clear that I will never want to. All doubts are down there in the abyss, the wonderful feelings are still here. I may make her smile, I may make her happy and this fact does lead to my happiness and gladness. And can anything which makes someone so happy be irrational anyway?
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